


The Jounin's Weakness

by Liontalon



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Humor, Pranks and Practical Jokes, insane jounin, mentions a bunch of other characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 03:04:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11175660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liontalon/pseuds/Liontalon
Summary: The Jounin of Konoha were thought to be unstoppable, but everyone has a weakness...





	The Jounin's Weakness

The Jounin of Konoha, the elite, feared throughout the nations. They were often thought to be unstoppable, able to see through any trap laid before them. And in many ways, all of that was true, they were the elite –after the Hokage and ANBU of course– many did have a flee-on-sight order. But, as for being able to see through any trap…

Well, the mission desk workers of Konoha would beg to differ, not that they’d ever reveal the Jounin’s greatest weakness. If they ever did they would never be taken seriously again.

It was a well-known fact that in order to be promoted to jounin, you had to have some insane quirk. Asuma with his smoking –though it was one of the more normal ones–, Kakashi with his porn, Gai with his… Youthful attitude, Genma and his senbon chewing, Anko… well Anko was always crazy. But each and every one of them had something that made them standout, as different as each may be.

However, there was one thing they all had in common, something the Chuunin weren’t above using against them. It was strange really, an obsession that had no definitive source. Many of those who were promoted never had it before their promotion. It was theorized that it had something to do with the jounin exams, though that didn’t explain the Tokubetsu Jounin, so it wasn’t that reliable of a theory.

But, when the Jounin became unbearable with their mission reports and inflated egos, the desk workers take action.

In front of the Hokage tower, they set up a wicked array of humiliating traps –most of which are in plain sight– around the bait and wait. Within minutes there is a crowd of Jounin crowding around in despair, bemoaning their horrible fates.

Fore, no matter how many times it happens to them, one of them will inevitably lose all self-control and set off the traps. The record for how long they held out was twenty-one hours, during that time the group had amassed all Jounin not on a mission, it was quite the spectacle. 

Now, as the chuunin mission desk workers dealt with their calm orderly lines, they couldn’t help but feel a bit smug. The Jounin never sought out revenge, seeing as their greatest weakness was known, and would normally fall back into line for a few weeks. It was good feeling, knowing you had something over some of the most feared nin in the shinobi nations, especially something so amusing.

_“Iruka-sensei!”_ a very familiar voice cried, as an orange figure barreled into the mission room, disturbing the peace.

“Iruka-sensei!” the boy repeated, coming to a stop in front of the desk, completely ignoring the line, followed by his team-mates.

“Yes, Naruto?” the scarred Chuunin asked patiently.

“Something’s wrong with Kakashi-sensei!”

“Really?”

“Hai, Sensei,” Sakura responded, “There was a group of Jounin outside and Kakashi-sensei got all stiff, he ignored them until we reached the entrance of the building-”

“ _Without his book!”_ Naruto interjected, “He stopped reading his book, he never does that!”

“Hn,” Sasuke grunted in agreement.

“Yeah, then, before we came in here, he got all twitchy, looking back every couple of steps. Finally, he kind of froze up and stared at the group, after that he gave this… pained cry and joined the others,” Sakura finished.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, Sensei! What’s wrong with him? We can’t train with him acting all weird –well weirder than normal,” Naruto bemoaned.

“Easy, Naruto, Kakashi-san will be fine, it’s a jounin thing,” Iruka reassured, plucking a scroll from the desk, “Here this should last you until tomorrow, by then Kakashi-san should be back to normal.”

“Aww,” the blond boy whined, looking at the scroll, “It’s just a D-rank.”

“Sorry, Naruto, I can’t give you a higher-ranking mission without your sensei.”

“It’s fine, Iruka-sensei, thank you,” Sakura cut off any further complaints from her teammate and dragged them out.

Iruka just smiled, glancing out the window toward the ever-growing crowd of Jounin.

* * *

 

“It’s so pretty.”

“I have to touch it! I have to!”

“You can’t!”

“But… So shiny…”

“Don’t you dare touch it, Anko, you broke the last one!” Kurenai snarled.

“I didn’t mean to!” the purple haired woman wailed.

“Why do they tease us like this?” Genma lamented, “Placing the shiny just out of reach.”

“They’re sadistic bastards,” Raido muttered.

"It’s So Youthful! But Alas, A Forbidden Love,” Gai wailed, tears streaming down his face. Kakashi stood next to him, sharingan spinning as he memorized the shiny bauble swinging lazily on its rope.

"I need it!” someone shrieked, leaping for the shiny.

“No!” the others screamed, all diving forward to stop him.

The moment the Jounin’s fingers touched the shiny, the world around them exploded with color and wire. When the dust cleared a good number of the Jounin were strung up and dangling in front of the Hokage Tower, those that avoided the wire weren’t able to avoid the paint that colored them varying shades of orange.

To the Jounin’s despair, the shiny stopped shining under the paint.

* * *

 

“Will they ever learn?” Kotetsu asked, grinning as they watched the chaos below.

“It has nothing to do with learning, ‘tetsu,” Izumo responded.

“More like self-control,” Iruka chuckled.

"Well, we're going to need more 'shinies'." 

**Author's Note:**

> There was a story that I read not that long ago about Jounin obsessed with shiny objects and I couldn't help myself, though I can't find that story now.


End file.
